Offended Muslim Syndrome & Self-Help Support Groups "I have always been offended by rubber ducks," says Mahmud Said of Portland, Oregon. "For a long time I felt stigmatized and inadequate, until one day I decided to write about it on an Internet forum. I received hundreds of heart-felt emails - from Morocco to Indonesia. It turns out that thousands of Muslim men between the ages of 18 and 35 have had traumatic experiences with rubber ducks.This is not a joke: "The Sarcastic Lost Dog Flier of Hate"
"We started a support group that has grown to 10,000 members. Not only do we share horrifying rubber duck stories, we also try to increase public awareness by sabotaging the world supply of rubber ducks, setting fire to factories, abducting rubber duck distributors, and intimidating retailers. These are building blocks for our healthy future. With Allah as my witness, our public awareness campaign will soon result in a completely rubber-duck-free world."
A poster was put up near a Somali-owned store in Lewiston, Maine. It says a dog named Mohammed has been lost, and that the dog is not good with children and cannot be trusted. The Somali community in Lewiston is upset ...and now the rest of the community is swinging into action too, against this possible hate crime.Fun fact about Lewiston, Maine: as of 2003, at 3 percent of Lewiston's population, Somalians received 46 percent of its welfare payments. The above is a true story, backed by angry sputterings from Lewiston clergy, including a priest, a rabbi, and a nun. [City leaders decry slander By Bonnie Washuk , Lewiston Sun-Journal January 5, 2008] I repeat, it's not a joke.If it wre a priest, a rabbi, a nun, and a rubber duck, that would be a joke.
A mildly obnoxious teasing poster is a possible hate crime? Well, remember that Lewiston, Maine is the home of the notorious Ham Steak of Hate: the placement of a bag containing a ham steak on a table in a middle school where a group of Muslim students was sitting was investigated as a hate crime. So if there is any place in the United States where a poster of a dog can get traction as a hate crime, it's Lewiston.
Anyhow, more on offended Muslim syndrome:
OK, joke or reality? Quick, now! The answer is both—but it's from the joke site. You won't be seeing it in the New York Times anytime soon.
Symptoms of Offended Muslim Syndrome (OMS)
- Irritability, agitation, anxiety at the sight of women who are not fully covered
- Prolonged rage or unexplained killing sprees
- Significant changes in immigration patterns
- Brooding about the past glory of the Caliphate
- Decreased effectiveness and minimal work productivity
- Difficulty in understanding new information without a trial lawyer
- Feelings of despair or hopelessness about the existence of Israel
- Recurring thoughts of death to the infidels