Here are some headlines from that presidency:
No, just more of this:
He still won.
Democrats know how Trump did it—and, unfortunately, they also know how to use the same kryptonite against him.
You will notice that smart liberals are NOT saying, We need more pussyhats, more angry rhetoric, more Rachel Maddow conspiracy theories! No, the smart liberals are begging Democrats to steal the central components of Trump's death-defying campaign: immigration and manufacturing.
Andrew Sullivan recently wrote in New York magazine: "I don't believe it's disputable at this point that the most potent issue behind the rise of the far right in America and Europe is mass immigration. It's a core reason that Trump is now president." He called the Democrats' sudden decision to treat illegal immigrants as a beloved constituency "political suicide."
Then this week, former Obama administration official Steven Rattner called on Democrats to abandon liberal shibboleths and focus on winning the votes of "white working-class men." Wage stagnation, he wrote in a New York Times op-ed, is "our most pressing economic challenge."
And of course, several months ago, the Democrats' meticulous pollster, Stanley Greenberg, produced a report telling Democrats that, to beat Trump, they need to win back "the nation's working class communities, starting in the formerly industrial states and Upper Midwest."
At the end of Trump's term in office, I promise you, the Israelis and Palestinians will not be living in peace and harmony. Kim Jong-un will not have called for democratic elections. ISIS, al-Shabaab, al-Qaida and the Muslim head-choppers du jour will not have suddenly become pro-life.
The rest of the world will still be a godforsaken cesspool.
That's why Trump's campaign slogan to "MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!" was such a hit. Beyond the self-evident attractiveness of a president caring about us, instead of the rest of the world, fixing our country is at least something that's achievable.
Our tender ministrations in Iraq, Afghanistan and 200 other countries Congress is unaware we've even sent troops to has accomplished nothing good, and all too often a lot that's bad.
We haven't been able to get our leaders to focus on America's problems for 30 years. The seduction of foreign policy is too great. War, military strikes, treaties—if you're president, these are the antidote to whatever ails you! Presidents wear the mantle of national security like an amulet.
Any international conflict means a president can't be criticized abroad. His short-term poll numbers will go sky-high. Even a dunderhead can feel like a master strategist when threatening to deploy the full force of the U.S. military. (See Nikki Haley.)
The rest of the world's problems will never be solved, but it seems so adult and serious to be "working" on them.
We need to go into the Situation Room, sir. The Democratic Republic of Noos Noos has sent a disturbing cable.
Yes, absolutely! Cancel the rest of my day that I was going to spend fulfilling my campaign promises.
If ever there was a presidential candidate who seemed immune to the siren song of "foreign policy," we thought it was Trump. We voted for a reality TV star. We didn't want "gravitas."
Instead, the smart set's contempt for Trump seems to have sent him headlong into a fevered obsession with the goings-on in North Korea, China, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Guam, Venezuela, Afghanistan, Syria, Iran, Qatar, Niger and little Burkina Faso.
No one cares enough to read past the headlines. There won't be any snippy lower court judges issuing frame-worthy rebukes of Trump's travel ban or thousands of women showing up on the National Mall in pussyhats.
So there's peace.
But there will be no change. Not in the rest of the world and not in the country Trump promised to make great again.
COPYRIGHT 2017 ANN COULTER
DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
Ann Coulter is the legal correspondent for Human Events and is the author of TWELVE New York Times bestsellers—collect them here.
Her book, ¡Adios America! The Left’s Plan To Turn Our Country Into A Third World Hell Hole, was released on June 1, 2015. Her latest book is IN TRUMP WE TRUST: E Pluribus Awesome