Okay, so Stephen Colbert had a little fun at the expense of Senator Marco Rubio and his case of flop sweat on national TV, but that can't hurt the GOP's Great Tan Hope because, as everybody knows, Spanish-language network Univision is the big dog in the TV ratings these days. And Univision loves Rubio!
Right? I mean, like most Republicans, my Espanol habloing is a little rusty, but my impression is that all these people whose names end in a vowel are best friends: the Mexicans, the Cubans, the Guatelombians, the Domingoans, the Costa Nostras, the Guyanese, the New Guyanese, the Philippinos, the Borneoeans, the Burmanese ... they're all amigos, right? And they all watch Univision.
So, because Univision's got Rubio's back, he's a sure thing in 2016.
Oh, wait ... From Business Insider:
A top assistant to a Univision news boss trashed Sen. Marco Rubio on his aide's Facebook page, calling the Republican lawmaker a "loser" and "a token slave boy."
It's the latest attack in a lengthy feud between the Florida senator and the powerful Spanish-language network that conservatives charge is anti-GOP and anti-Rubio. ...
"Oh. wow, the loser is going to speak after our President," Artiles wrote on spokesman Alex Burgos' Facebook page at 9:33 p.m. Wednesday. "Anything to get publicity. Ask him to do us a favor and stay home that night."
Sentiments like that reflect the prevailing political feeling among Univision's higher-ups at its Doral headquarters, say Univision insiders. Artiles is executive assistant to Daniel Coronell, Univision's vice president of news.
The network is owned by a major Democratic donor [Haim Saban, who brought us Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers] who has accused Rubio and other Republicans of having an "anti-Hispanic" stand on immigration that's "despicable."
In August, someone used Univision's official Facebook account to attack Rubio during the Republican National Convention in Tampa.
"Beyond his ideology, Rubio is a mediocre politician who contradicts the values he says he represents. Jeb Bush is more Latino and talented than him," the Facebook posting said. ...
And a year before that Facebook incident, Rubio clashed with Univision's news chief, Isaac Lee, when his news team decided to run a story about a quarter-century-old drug bust involving the senator's brother-in-law.
Univision began reporting the drug-bust story after Rubio rebuffed repeated interview requests with the network, which had been critical of Rubio's opposition to liberal immigration policies that Univision personalities have promoted.
She then used a diminutive term for Rubio's first name, "Marquito," and proceeded to compare him to a Disney dwarf, a "token slave boy" and a "fool" who was passed over by Republican Mitt Romney on his presidential ticket last November. ...
"I see that all the mojoncitos ['little turds'] have come out to defend the principal turd, Marquito," she wrote in Spanish. "I am laughing all the way to the White House :)." ...
Artiles: "Curbelo, the riffraff might be you. I haven't said anything 'riffraffy.' Wake up and join the Democratic Party unless you want to remain losers all your lives." ...
Artiles: "Curbelo, losers are the ones who lost the elections, this is what is called freedom of expression. We are all professionals and being parents is nothing out of this world, nor because of that does one stop being a little turd. And Marquito only wants to talk about immigration NOW because he lost. I know well all his lies and his vanity." ...
In the New Yorker piece, Lee acknowledged the network covers immigration with a bias.
As opposed to ...
I'm drawing a blank here on networks that cover immigration without a bias.
"According to Univision's news president, Isaac Lee, the network is openly committed to 'pro-Hispanic' immigration reform," the New Yorker wrote.
The owner of Univision, major Democratic donor Haim Saban, was more partisan than Lee and fumed in an email to the New Yorker over the way that the GOP presidential candidates boycotted a proposed Florida debate in January in retaliation for the network's report on Rubio and his brother-in-law.
Said Saban: "The fact that Rubio and some Republican presidential candidates have an anti-Hispanic stand that they don't want to share with our community is understandable but despicable."
"Our community," Haim?