These days, even Third World countries tend to have rapid vote counting, and when the process breaks down, such as in Bolivia recently, it’s a national crisis.

In contrast, America seems to have gotten slower at figuring out who won, with the closer you get to Silicon Valley, the slower. Good thing the presidential primary season doesn’t start in California or the results wouldn’t be final until April. As I wrote in 2018 about California’s recent four-week vote-counting process:

Of course, countries like Paraguay don’t have mail ballots coming in by slow boat from Honduras, the Galapagos Islands, the Kerguelen Islands, Guatelombia, Transnistria, Abbottabad, Abkhazia, Azkaban, Raqqa, Narnia, and The Republic of Pirates.

Nor do these Third World countries have to provide, by court order, ballots in English, Spanish, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Armenian, Persian, Arabic, Syriac, Panjabi, Punjabi, Hmong, Mixtec, Esperanto, Hittite, Klingon, Linear B, Linear A, !San Clickspeak, Shavian Alphabet, Incan Knot Lingo, Runic, Voynich Manuscript, Semaphore, Canary Islands Whistle Speech, The Analytical Language of John Wilkins, American Sign Language, Thieves’ Argot, Smoke Signals, Ouija Board, Enigma Encryption, Turing Machine, General Semantics, System Basic, Cityspeak, Telepathy, Dolphin, Assembler, COBOL, Coco Sign Language, HTML, PDF, Graffiti, Gang Signs, SMS, Bitcoin, and Emoji, plus certain languages spoken only by individual pairs of identical twins.