This is what happened: I slipped on a wet floor, banged my head on something and woke up in an emergency room with a concussion and virtually no short-term memory.
For two weeks I contemplated the 24-hour news channels and I was unfortunately somewhat healed by the time Hurricane Katrina ambushed the Southeast.
(I say "ambushed" because apparently officials in Louisiana didn't know it was coming.)
Interestingly enough, I now feel compelled to re-evaluate my life, my purpose as it were…and I know what I want to do with the time I have left:
Repeal the 19th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.
Why? Because time and consequence have proven that some women are not capable of handling the awesome responsibility of voting.
Look, it was the 1920s and I agree it was worth a shot. But the skills of a politician rarely include prophecy. So factoring the cataclysmic events of the 1940s was undoubtedly impossible.
What happened in the 1940s you ask? The four greatest threats to American civilization gnawed their way into the world, that's what.
I am talking of course about Nancy Pelosi, Kathleen Blanco, Kim Gandy and Hillary Rodham. I will explain why—umm, let me see…because they are full of it.
Side note: Let's be fair here: These women have some serious talons and tentacles—I would give MacGyver a truce flag out of my own underwear to avoid that conflict.
All four women cashed in on women's suffrage to forge their respective careers. They are supposedly the heralds of social equality and parity among the sexes. They wax eloquently about the need to end violent acts against women and children.
But it has been two weeks since Hurricane Katrina struck the Southeast…
It has been two weeks since people, mostly white tourists from Australia and the United Kingdom, were terrorized by racist thugs throughout New Orleans.
It has been more than two weeks since women and children were raped and murdered at the Convention Center and Superdome in New Orleans.
Look at the numbers; according to Steve Kellmeyer over at MensNewsDaily.com (Living in a Fishbowl, 9/13/2005).
"'Two-thirds of the 24,000 people huddled inside the Superdome were women, children or elderly, and many were infirm' said Lonnie C. Swain, an assistant police superintendent at the Superdome."
There has been much talk about the rampant looting but it was supposedly driven by dira necessitas…yeah, sure it was.
(And of course there's revisionist talk that the reports were exaggerated…but I'm a Navy brat, eyewitness reports have spread through the services.)
So where are they? Where are these emissaries of equality now? Why do they not speak for these unfortunate women? Why do they not speak for these tortured children?
Just last month in a press statement about a bill that would reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act, Nancy Pelosi made these remarks:
"Women should feel safe in their homes, and they should feel safe walking the street…this bill sends a strong message: we will not tolerate violence, abuse, and sexual assault against women."
Governor Blanco's administration even includes a department for Women Leaders in Louisiana. The link is situated just below her defense against accusations of her failings as a leader—her "I'm not a Crook" campaign, as I like to think of it. She actually published all her letters to President Bush II…you know, all four of them.
And for crying out loud, it was Hillary Clinton (with the help of Attorney General Janet Reno) who established the Office on Violence Against Women at the Department of Justice.
And a group that calls themselves the National Organization for Women would certainly be interested in this issue, right?
Yeah, they don't mention a word of it on their site although they do take the time to blame the Bush administration for the delay in emergency response.
They also take the time to slam Supreme Court nominee John Roberts for being, of all things, "an anti-women's rights, anti-civil rights judge."
Women in New Orleans were being raped and left for dead with their throats slit in bathrooms and dark areas of the buildings. Young children met with the same fate.
Without a doubt, Judge Roberts would take better care of those women than the ideologues at NOW have done to date.
It enrages me to read Kim Gandy's words—her group doesn't represent this woman or any women I know. She should do us all a favor and zip it.
Just today, Pelosi delivered a floor speech in support of a federal hate crime bill and had the temerity to reference the victims of Katrina and the words of our forefathers.
"Our nation was founded on the principle that all are created equal…[it] violates this principle to have individuals in our country targeted for violence because of who they are, the color of their skin…"
"Mr. Speaker, as we deal with the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina…We must work to end false distinctions among us."
Pelosi is nothing more than a charlatan.
Women became the targets of black rapists simply because they were white. [Example HERE]
Yes, racism and hate crime was alive and well in New Orleans that week…a number of black racists ran amok in the absence of law enforcement and brutalized as many women and children as they could.
And no, I am not suggesting all black men, so don't even go there.
So, once again, why are they being ignored? Why are they being sacrificed?
I think Pelosi & Co. smell an opportunity—an opportunity to rally their coalition and strike what they consider a lethal blow to the image of the Republican Party just in time for Election 2008. They want to portray the Republican Administration as unfeeling bigots for supposedly not responding quickly enough to (mainly black) hurricane victims.
They know that most men will be terrified to criticize a woman Governor (and a Black Mayor?).
I can almost hear it now…
Kim Gandy: "The Bush administration is nothing but a bunch of sexist, racist pigs. They are just criticizing Blanco because she is a woman. They fear what a woman can do. Blah, Blah, Blah..."
Yeah, they fear what a woman can do—such as not her job.
Once-upon-a-time, the picture books in kindergarten would have read "See Dick, Dick is a doctor" and "See Jane, Jane is a nurse."
When I was in kindergarten, the books read "See Dick, Dick is a Doctor" and "See Jane, Jane is an astronaut."
Today, I think the books should read "See Dick, Dick is a doctor" and "See Jane, Jane is a con artist."
So I'd like to offer Bush II a deal: I'll work on the whole 19th amendment thing if in the meantime he tackles the feministas. Oh, and by tackle, I mean humiliate them into a self-imposed exile.
Sadly, the sacrifice of Michael Brown as FEMA director might be an indication of things to come—Bush II is obviously inclined to appeasement.
My guess: Next, we will have new emergency response terminology. All future storms will use labels which are both "ethnic and gender friendly" as well as instructive.
Under the new policy, Hurricane "Katrina" would have been called Hurricane "Flee Now Or You Will Surely Die—Especially The Poor People Who Live In The Projects."
Not to be confused with Tropical Storm "Not Strong Enough For Looting And Mayhem"…
Hey, it's better than the color-coded terror alert warnings—which are clearly racist.
Still, my original plan is better…and faster.
Ladies, we just have to give up the vote. The brain power of Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin would be missed at the poll booth, but so would theirs.
Admittedly, without women the conservative side of the aisle will lack a certain équilibre. And frankly the White House Christmas Card will seem dowdy without Condi's legs.
But think about the benefits…Blanco, Pelosi, Gandy and Rodham would no longer be able to highjack the U.S. Constitution and warp it into some deformed manifesto for social equality and civil rights…oops, I mean women's (sort of) rights.
Hey, desperate times call for desperate measures.
Show me where to sign.
Bryanna Bevens [email her] is a political consultant and former chief of staff for a member of the California State Assembly.
