Here's one of New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg's favorite jokes:
"If Jesus was a Jew, why does he have a Puerto Rican first name"?
Another Bloomberg gem:
"The Royal family — what a bunch of misfits — a gay, an architect, that horsey-faced lesbian, and a kid who gave up Koo Stark for some fat broad."
"What do I want? I want a B.J. from Jane Fonda. Have you seen Jane Fonda lately? Not bad for fifty."
Yet one more knee-slapper:
"If women wanted to be appreciated for their brains, they'd go to the library instead of to Bloomingdale's."
All of these Bloomberg comments, and many others in equally poor taste, were collected in a photocopied 32-page 1990 booklet titled The Portable Bloomberg: The Wit and Wisdom of Michael Bloomberg.
In her editor's note, former Bloomberg Financial Markets executive Elizabeth De Marse wrote:
"Yes, these are all actual quotes. No, nothing had been embellished or exaggerated. And yes, some things were too outrageous to include."
In his 2001 New York article, " Chairman Mike," discussing the existence of the booklet, journalist Michael Wolff asks:
"Is the person who makes such statements a racist-sexist homophobe, or just someone with a questionable sense of taste and humor?"
All I can say is that if Bloomberg's lewd remarks were made by any of the VDARE.COM editorial collective, the answer given by open borders enthusiasts would be:
"RACISTS! SEXISTS! HOMOPHOBES! HATE CRIME PERPETRATORS!"
What's most curious about Bloomberg's reputation is that Senators Arlen Specter and Edward M. Kennedy value this low-life's opinion on federal immigration policy enough to invite him to participate in their Philadelphia July 5th immigration hearings.
Speaking in support of S. 2611, the Kennedy-Bush Amnesty/Immigration Acceleration bill and to an audience of pro-illegal alien apologists outnumbering restrictionists 3-1, Bloomberg made his infamous observation about illegal immigrants:
"Although they broke the law by illegally crossing our borders ... our city's economy would be a shell of itself had they not, and it would collapse if they were deported."
("New York City Will Collapse Without Illegal Immigrants," Associated Press, July 5, 2006)
So staggering is Bloomberg's idiocy that it's amazing that Specter and Kennedy's jaws didn't drop to the floor.
But, as we have painfully learned over these many years, neither the MSM nor anyone in Congress (with very few exceptions) will challenge any statement promoting more illegal immigration, regardless of how preposterous.
Accordingly, it falls to VDARE.COM to raise the tough questions that others are afraid to ask.
Here, regarding Bloomberg's analysis of the illegal alien contribution to New York, is what Specter, Kennedy and every major daily newspaper accepted at face value:
I dare any immigration enthusiast to come up with a more ridiculous statement than Bloomberg's.
And, if you believe Bloomberg, major businesses like the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel would shut down if it had to rely on American chambermaids and bell hops.
Bloomberg knows better, of course. He didn't become a multi-billionaire by believing his own baloney.
The first line of defense for a business with rising costs is not to close its doors, as Bloomberg suggests is inevitable without alien labor, but to cut back in other areas of its operation or to raise prices.
In the case of the deli that might have to hire Americans, customers will either get fewer pickles or pay 50 cents more for their pastrami on rye.
And at the Waldorf-Astoria, minus illegal aliens, guests will either forego the complementary mint on their pillows or the single room without a view goes from $425.00 to $445.00 a night.
New York, for those of you who have not been there lately, is a price inelastic place.
But in truth Bloomberg cares nothing about the prosperity of the small businessman or, for that matter, the large businessman —unless, I suppose, he's a stockholder.
Bloomberg, rumored to be a 2008 presidential candidate, wants illegal aliens hanging around to pick up after him.
Every Friday Bloomberg co-hosts a radio talk show on WABC with John Gambling. In April, Bloomberg had this to say to Gambling about illegal aliens:
"You and I are beneficiaries of these jobs. You and I both play golf. Who takes care of the greens and the fairways in your golf course?"
("Illegals Needed to Take Care of Golf Courses," World Net Daily, April 2, 2006)
Bloomberg's purposely-disingenuous take on New York's "immigrants" is hugely insulting to me.
My grandparents came legally to New York from Sicily in the early-20th Century. They obeyed all the laws, worked hard, learned English and raised three patriotic American children.
As I have written before, and will continue to write as long as the likes of Bloomberg compare today's illegal aliens to my family, my grandmother made the quintessential statement about the importance of being American when she said:
"The four most important days of my life were the days each of my three children were born and the day I became an American citizen."
If Bloomberg can convince me my grandmother's sentiments represent the prevailing attitude among illegal aliens today, I'll take back every nasty (but truthful) thing I said about him.
Joe Guzzardi [email him], an instructor in English at the Lodi Adult School, has been writing a weekly newspaper column since 1988. This column is exclusive to VDARE.COM.