Will Republicans ever rebel against the execrable primary debates foisted on us every four years? Vetting presidential candidates is one of our most important civic duties, but the Republican National Committee offshores the job to journalists who pretend to be neutral—the better to slay Republicans on behalf of the Democrats—and inject themselves into the proceedings, a la Candy Crowley correcting Mitt Romney when Romney was right and her correction was wrong. (Three hundred more examples upon request.) Moderators consider any debate a failure when they haven’t done 90% of the talking.
Despite my repeated demand for presidential debates with no moderators, like Lincoln and Douglas did, the worst possible people keep popping up to host these events, making them a total waste of time, like a David Brooks column.
I’m a very busy person, but as a public service, I have written a series of questions for the useless wastes of space “moderating” this week’s Republican debate. Perhaps not as riveting as questions from a talking snowman about global warming, but still pretty good.
Today, my questions will focus on Nikki Haley, who is surging in the polls principally because, as my regular readers know, Republican mega-donors are the most out of touch, head-up-their-butts twits the country has to offer. (Just ask Presidents Jeb Bush, Carly Fiorina, Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson and Phil Gramm.)
Here are a few of the questions that need to be answered:
[Read with feeling]
“Our family, like every military family, is ready to make personal sacrifices when our loved one answers the call. We could not be prouder of Michael and his military brothers and sisters. Their commitment to protecting our freedom is a reminder of how blessed we are to live in America.”
Your husband’s first deployment was to Afghanistan in 2013, to teach Afghans to grow crops other than opium. This did not have the slightest effect, and today, the country is growing more opium than before your husband’s deployment.
Please explain how trying to teach Afghans to grow crops other than opium, which led to their growing even more opium, “protect[ed] our freedom.”
Our mission there is vital and only the most obtuse would mock it. According to the Defense Department, American military exercises there consist of keeping the locals entertained with art bazaars, Ramadan meals and field trips:
Please explain to voters, who lack a nuanced understanding of strategic objectives, how this posting “protect[s] our country and our freedoms”?
You have warned congressional Republicans that to stop the flow of taxpayer money to that country, on top of the $100 billion we’ve already sent, could cause Ukraine to lose the war.
If that should that happen, which of these is your greatest fear:
Ann Coulter is the author of THIRTEEN New York Times bestsellers—collect them here.
Her book, ¡Adios America! The Left’s Plan To Turn Our Country Into A Third World Hell Hole, was released on June 1, 2015.