War! What Is It Good For?
April 29, 2010, 06:08 AM
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One of the common assumptions behind praise of America's rapidly growing population, as in Joel Kotkin's America's Next 100 Million, is that it's a good thing because it will make America militarily stronger, presumably by providing more cannon fodder. But nobody goes on to explain the precise mechanism by which the population increasing by 42% from 2010 to 2050 will benefit current Americans and their posterity.
Fortunately, I've finally figured it out. See, all we have to do is to use our 42% bigger population to invade, conquer, and depopulate other countries equal to 42% of the land that we have now (a mere 1.6 million additional square miles), and then we'll have just as much land per person in 2050 as in 2010!

The logic is foolproof.

Oh, and make sure the conquests are between 25 and 50 degrees in latitude. No Nunavuts or Guatemalas, please. We could start with Tuscany — that's a nice place. Who wouldn't want to own Tuscany? Although I see that Tuscany is only 1/200th of the amount of land needed to keep up with population growth in the U.S. over the next 40 years. Hmmhmmh ...