Racial Reality Catches Up to the Onion, Onion Keeps Straight Face
June 30, 2011, 03:46 AM
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If you`ve ever wondered what it`ll take for the media to report on racial reality, you can cross "when racial reality comes right up to a journalist and breaks her damn leg" off the list.

Emily Guendelsberger, 27, an editor for the Onion`s A.V. Philadelphia (the A.V. section, unlike the deliciously satirical main section, is non-fiction), was attacked by what the MSM is calling a "flash mob" but what everyone else is calling gangs of young blacks.

The Onion itself is ignoring race:Newswire | A.V. Club editor injured in "flash mob" attack in Philadelphia

Guendelsberger is also apparently ignoring race, tweeting that 1) her boyfriend isn`t white, therefore, no hate crime 2) some in the mob tried to help her, so hey, it`s all good, and really, let`s focus on the heroes here! 3) my roommate in the hospital is, like, too into Jesus.

Of course, the woman is — or was — in the hospital, so I`ll cut some slack. Maybe she`ll have a juicy, honest, first-hand account down the road. We`ll see.

Meanwhile, commenters understand perfectly well that the attackers are black.

Emily Guendelsberger: Onion editor hurt in Spring Garden attack, Metro, June 27, 2011
Authorities in Philadelphia — as well as the many other locations where gangs of young blacks have viciously attacked whites — should be investigating hate crimes. Are they? Call them and ask.

Now, I`ve always loved the Onion. Whoever came up with "New Crispy Snack Cracker to Ease Crushing Pain of Modern Life" is a comedy genius. And the Onion is often bitingly funny in ways that might irritate the left, right, and radical right.

But a too-heavy dose of racial reality might just be too much for the now-more-corporate Onion to handle.

Once upon a time, for instance, they had a satirical guest column titled "My Baby Don`t Want No Medicine." The pictured "author" was a black woman, and the article mocked the attitude of a black ghetto mama. Later, after the Onion gained more fame, the exact same column was accompanied by a picture of a white woman wearing a bandana on her head.

It was obvious what was going on, and the comedy effect was lost. Brutally honest satire has its limits, you see.