Mark Zuckerberg Becoming Face Of The Immigration Bill
Thumb sailer
May 06, 2013, 04:15 AM
Print Friendly and PDF

Why is Mark Zuckerberg spending so much time and money pushing the Gang of Eight`s immigration bill? 

Because the 28-year-old Facebook founder needs the money. He needs to hammer down his American programmers` salaries with more H-1B visa foreigners to keep his net worth up. For a terrifying moment last year, Zuckerberg`s wealth dropped from 11-figures to only 10-figures. Remember, money is how these guys keep score. Zuckerberg had to endure the humiliation of showing up on the 2012 Forbes 400 list with a net worth of only $9.4 billion. There are a lot of people with 10-figure net worths (1,426 according to Forbes in 2012).

Fortunately, the Zuck is back over the $10 billion mark lately, so he can hold his head up when he walks down the street, but you have to feel for the poor guy.

Actually, you don`t. In fact, a lot of people find Zuckerberg annoying. And that`s why it`s critical that Mark Zuckerberg replace Marco Rubio as The Face of the Immigration Bill.

Rubio has been promoted relentlessly by the media because he`s non-threateningly cute, a boy band singer-dancer (the subliminally ethnic one) in a suit. He doesn`t look cunning, so it`s easy to still like him when he gets caught telling another lie about what`s in the bill. How can you expect a nice boy like Rubio to keep track of all those details? He means well. You can tell just by looking at his symmetrical features.

Personally, I kind of like Zuckerberg, but my approval is a pretty good contra-indicator. (I should have started the world`s simplest marketing research company: just show me two new products or two new ads, and whichever one I prefer, you should junk it, immediately.)

I think Zuckerberg is, by the standards of software nerds, a good looking guy, but he increasingly strikes a lot of folks as a green-eyed, fair-skinned jerk. It doesn`t help his image that it seems likely that, deep down, he`s probably a Republican (he hosted a Chris Christie fundraiser). And a lot of people are growing sick of Facebook. Oh, and, yeah, there`s an entire movie already about what a monster he is.