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From: Mary Rose Maguire [e-mail her]
Bravo to Joe Guzzardi for highlighting the American single woman's dilemma!
It seemed appropriate to write this email on Valentine's Day. Guzzardi's articles, are the best pieces I've seen yet in defense of single American women. And yes, there are plenty of them out there.
I work with single women over 35 who are looking for husbands. I have given workshops, written articles and coached clients one-on-one.
Although I don't think the desire to marry would be so controversial, I've met my share of irate feminists who feel my workshops are demeaning to women. My clients, though, tell a different story.
Most are professional women and a few are single mothers. They are all looking for good men who will love them. These are smart, funny, warm-hearted women who wonder if there are any decent men between the ages of 40-60 years old. It discourages them when they hear men are looking for wives through overseas dating services.
Not all single women are self-absorbed harpies. For the gentleman who complained that he spent 18 years looking for a Christian lady with a good heart to no avail - I can only offer this observation. He must have visited only one church in one small town.
Years ago, I fell into his criteria. I was a single Christian lady with what I perceived as a good heart. My girlfriend and I went out on a weekend night for dinner and then later, a dance club. As we were leaving, a man walked by, stopped and then double-tracked his steps in an effort to engage my friend in conversation.
As it turned out, he was a faithful churchgoer. I asked him, "Wait a minute. I know your church. It's pretty large. Aren't there any single women in your own congregation to ask out on a date rather than strike up a conversation with a strange woman on the street who I know for a fact does not share your faith?"
He stammered and stuttered a bit, then admitted that he didn't want to ask any of them out because he was afraid things would "get messy" when they broke up.
He might as well have had a sign plastered on his forehead that said, "Only One Night Stands Need Apply."
The 2000 Census showed 28 million single women over the age of 35 but only 18 million men. I've spoken to enough men to realize they want a woman who is feminine and doesn't carry a load of emotional baggage toward men.
But still, there are plenty of single American women who are feminine, loving and kind.
I'm also happy to report that I married for the first time at age 39 to a wonderful man who recognized my good heart.
Yes, it can happen!
Your Compatriot in