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From: [Name Withheld]
Re: Joe Guzzardi's Column: Fiancée Visa Means Unhappy Valentine's Days
Guzzardi is exactly right about the importance of eliminating the K-1 visa. As a victim of the racket myself, I should know.
Basically, guys have bad experiences with the contemporary version of the American woman and fall for the myth of the shy, unassuming, eternally faithful and grateful Filipina girl. But she doesn't exist.
In the culture of the Philippines, young women are "THE" cash crop. Every Filipina has sisters, cousins and aunties who have pulled the scam and they all know how to pull it off.
In the Filipina/American marriages I know of that seem to "work" the husband keeps the wife under his thumb. They aren't permitted to drive and they don't leave the house without permission. If they have jobs, hubby takes them at starting time and picks them up at quitting time.
I couldn't do that, so my "wife" quickly took to living in the far guest bedroom, coming and going at will, sleeping outside the home several nights a week.
I dated several American women long-term but couldn't bring myself to make a commitment, eventually causing the relationships to end. But because Filipinas were supposed to be "different", I bought a pig in a poke. How stupid it seems now.
I have also noticed how assimilation-proof Filipinas and their American-Filipina offspring are. The brides only have other Filipina friends, speak only Tagalog, eat only their native foods and seem to hate everything about the US.
Their kids—even ones that seem bright and/or attractive— tend to assimilate downward, with underclass black girl/boyfriends, welfare dependency, illegitimate babies, and problems with the law.
Before marriage I made sure my wife-to-be understood how old I was, and that I was not interested in starting a family. She swore it didn't matter, but I didn't know then how little her word was worth.
Because of my history, and the propensity of Filipinas to network, I know many people who are on both sides of the racket. I have seen Filipinas who have divorced husbands and made off with big pieces of their retirement savings argue vehemently about who did the best job of robbery.
My ex-wife has fallen out with her family because they say she didn't clean me out thoroughly enough. They all read about how much money changes hands in a Hollywood divorce and think that is the norm.
I know men, invariably older, who have been wiped out by two or three successive scam marriages but are eager to give it yet another go. When the woman finds out there is nothing left for her, she cuts her losses and starts looking for a new sucker whose pockets haven't yet been emptied.
I think the main motivation for American men falling for this is the chance for an older man to get a young, barely legal, woman.
Fiancées are in it for the green card, then whatever else they can get on top of that. I've reminded myself of that dozens of times over the last few years. But it is too late for me.
As for others who may be considering a trip to the Philippines or Russia in search of a bride, I offer this eternal verity: "There's no fool like an old fool".